21* Gemini New Moon
By Tara Sutphen
21* Gemini New Moon this month (no moon – the time of dreaming), culminating June 12, 2010. This Gemini New Moon is about communicating and finding balance through your vocal skills, your internal process of sending and receiving. A part of good communication is a willingness to be a listener. What or who are you willing to listen to, are you growing or learning or just going through the motions of babble and criticism. How have you established your connection with your higher purpose. When you converse are you able to convey thoughtfully or are you too busy trying to be liked. We start learning from childhood, and the remarks of others stay deep within our subconscious and conscious mind. We’ve all had someone tell us that we couldn’t achieve this or that, or we weren’t good enough, smart enough, or worthy enough. Did you go ahead and bulldoze through those self esteem busters or were you held back and down by comments of the fearful. And sometimes they were from well meaning loved ones, but we have our internal source of what is right for our individual lives and being worthy should be at the top of your list. There are people who feel free to find fault or point out the negative in situations. The key though is where your judgment comes into play to find a solution. Break down concepts of what are right or wrong for you. With every criticism is a bridge to improvement. With every stumbling block, there is a stepping stone.
Lets visit the concept of being liked by others and going along with conversations that are out of our character, such as hateful gossip or inane speaking about nothing in particular. Are you too accessible, ‘like me, like me, like me’ or do you hold your own. Have you become quiet or talk about everything other than what is important to you. Do you dump and whine about your problems. Do you go along with mundane conversations or are you competitive and it’s hard for others to keep up with you. Have you shut down, becoming cold and silent. Many people find that they have no one to talk to, feeling lonely in this huge world. Others speak angrily or defensively and there is no need to let others talk down to you. Who are you talking with. Who are you attracting. Where are people bringing value into your life. There is a secret here, what value are you bringing into their life. Maybe you are always to be the wise one, or bigger person. The evolving soul who soothes others in their endeavors or pain. . As a species we are deeply wounded and for reasons unbeknownst even to our deepest selves. The question though is do we allow our feelings and the remarks of others to make or break us. We should be able to take constructive criticism. We are to win at life and to make our lives wholesome and workable. We are to succeed and live well, no matter what others tried to do to make our lives hard.
Do you need to retrain your inner dialogue? Are you your best friend or worst enemy? You may want to take the rose colored glasses off about yourself and be realistic, yet loving. Treat yourself well. Others will follow that lead…
The 5 categories that we talk about are trivia, facts, opinions, feelings and needs.
- Trivia – Familiar and conventional comments, questions and answers
- Facts – Data and details about people, places and things
- Opinions – Points of view, suggestions, examinations, forewarnings, and judgments
- Feelings- Emotions, receptivity, sensitivity, perceptions, understanding, and sympathy
- Needs – Requirements, wants, fulfillment, claims, and essentials
There are ways of sharing problems and creating constructive reprogramming and fixing the ways of sharing verbal intimacy, not with just a partner but making connection with friends and family. Good conversationalists ask questions and listen.
Write out your expectations in these relationships. Hopes, Desires, Wants…Write the fantasy or good feelings of each one. What you want? Do you uphold your level of receptivity? What are your motives, notions, and overall outlook? Where can you improve? How reliable you are? How reliable are others? Who do you consider Prospects? Where do you find your friends or acquaintances? How do you feel about commitments? How trusting are you of others? What are your Presumptions? What is your Reality? What are your fantasies? How can you change your life and relationships? Where are problems? Write out a hopeful conclusion or a solution.
- Family Relationships
- Love Relationships
- Sharing information – Are you informative. When is it constructive or destructive?
- Sharing feelings – Where do you support others as they should support you?
- Sharing ideas – Are these ideas moving in the direction of goals or fixable solutions? Every good idea has steps toward achievement. Know that you can move ideas to pro-active acquirement or attainment.
- Sharing knowledge – How do you share common sense and perceptions? There are ways to help through constructive wisdom and good reasoning.
- Deep sharing – Intimacy in love and connection. How are you opening to your intrapersonal thoughts, motivations and desires? Is there equal measure of spiritual linking? Is there equal measure of emotional bonding? Is there equal measure of physical expression and affection? What do you lack, or give too much of, or not have at this time?
You cannot falsely advance the process of deep sharing; you’ll have to build steps with someone who deserves your time and attention. Do not force this type of interaction, it should be natural. Until the time of finding someone special, concentrate on rewarding yourself with positive intrapersonal dialogue and support, upgrade your soul level of worthiness, and practice good conversations with others.
|“Feelings of worth can flourish only in an atmosphere where individual differences are appreciated, mistakes are tolerated, communication is open, and rules are flexible – the kind of atmosphere that is found in a nurturing family.|
|~ Virginia Satir (American Psychologist and Educator, 1916-1988)|